D.C. wants you to make sure you really want that tattoo:
A mandatory 24-hour waiting period is among the provisions included in a 66-page package of draft regulations governing the “body art” industry released by the city Health Department on Friday.
If the waiting period is adopted, D.C. will become one of a very few places in the nation where a person cannot walk into a tattoo parlor and walk out with a tattoo.
I have a better idea. Let’s get tough on “impulse tattoos.” Instead of forcing people to wait a day to get the tattoo they’ve chosen, let’s turn the tables. Let’s instead make them get a tattoo that they’ll regret.
You think a tattoo of “#sharknado,” “Robin Thicke Forever” or the URL of your LinkedIn profile will stand the test of time? Okay. We’ll give you a tattoo that enshrines your bad decision better than parachute pants or a Hypercolor shirt ever could.
You don’t want to spend even one day discovering if your tattoo artist can do a faithful, tasteful reproduction of your child’s face? No problem. We’ll make sure you receive a tattoo that screams, “Why didn’t I spend even one day discovering if my tattoo artist could do a faithful, tasteful reproduction of my child’s face?!”
These punitive tattoos imposed by the D.C. government will serve as a lifelong reminder of the choice they made and they’ll serve as a warning to others to seriously think about the tattoo they want before they get it.
Some might call this proposal “too much.” I think anything less is too little, too late.